My 5 (Seemingly) Simple Tips For Avoiding Relapse:

Relapse, unfortunately, is part of alcoholism. It happens to most of us or has happened at some point. When I was in treatment, we heard over and over that 1 in 8 will make it. I'm not sure exactly how accurate that is, but the point is, this is a serious disease. Just as in cancer remission, all signs and symptoms seem to disappear, it can come back. Now, I'm not saying that we're doomed to relapse, I don't believe that is the case; I just think it's important to be aware of it.

This is a list of what has been working for me:

1. Don't be overconfident: Confidence is great; it is important and a good thing to believe in yourself.
Overconfidence, thinking, "I got this," can backfire. When you think you've got alcoholism beat, you can
easily forget what caused you to want to get sober in the first place. Soon, you stop focusing on personal
growth and those old thoughts and patterns can creep back. That was my experience during the year
before my last relapse. I am now confident in my sobriety. I remember the past, but I don't dwell on it.

2. Don't dwell on your past: Everybody makes mistakes. Some are bigger than others. But if you dwell
on your mistakes and all the embarrassing things you did and the people you hurt, you will find it
extremely difficult to move on to a place of peace. Forgiving yourself is an important part of sobriety,
even if others refuse to forgive you. Forgiving doesn't have to mean forgetting. You forgive so that you
can move on with your life.

My Struggle For Balance Between Mind and Body

I am so frustrated with this weight issue. I am miserable about the way I look now, and not just that, but the way it makes me feel physically. I feel like this body is not mine. It is not me. I struggle daily with it. It doesn't seem to matter what I eat or how much, I can not seem to lose it. Or I might lose a few pounds and shortly later, I've gained double that amount.

I don't have the patience to stay on a diet. And I crave junk food like crazy. All my blood tests say I'm healthy and there is no real real go reason other than my cravings get the best of me. I don't get enough exercise, just moderate. I am tired all the time, no matter how much I sleep. All I know is I've gotta do something. I'm not finding much balance between mind and body. And I am happy emotionally and I feel secure, except when it comes to my body. I've always had a negative body image, even when I was real thin.


My self worth was always based on my appearance. I had no self worth and I always thought I was fat. Now I am happy and I do have self worth. I feel good in every other area of my life. I want my physical appearance to reflect that. That is something I have to work on and it won't easy because eating is what I do for comfort, for fun, when I'm bored, when I'm happy, sad, stressed. It's not alcohol anymore, which hurt everyone around me, but this is hurting me. I'm not obese, but I am pretty overweight. And that is hurting me.
I don't feel completely whole because this is the one area of my life I can't seem to get control of.

I know what I need to do, it's a matter of motivation. I want to wake up in the morning thin and beautiful, without having to workout. I want the weight to come off now! It's that attitude, "I want what I want when I want it and I want it now, dammit!" That attitude is no good. I get discouraged so easily. I pray the Lord give me strength through this struggle just as did through my alcoholism. I pray for motivation to do what I need to do.

Luckily, my husband is so wonderful and thinks I am beautiful and sexy and never makes me feel otherwise. I don't doubt his attraction to me. Maybe that is why I am so happy and comfortable and have let myself get this way. I am grateful for a man who loves me no matter what. But now it's up to me.

Healthy weight loss tips.

Please feel welcome to leave comments, or your own tips.

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"A Course in Weight Loss"
Weight To Go! Pu-erh Weight-Loss Tea, 16oz (1lb)

My Choice To Forgive

     How do you forgive the father who told you almost daily you are stupid and worthless and instilled so much fear into you as a child? How do you forgive the man who abandoned you with three children and one on the way? How do you forgive the woman who intentionally stole your family and continues to try to inflict pain on you as if you were the one who stole her family? How do you forgive yourself for being the source of a great deal of pain to your children? And how do you forgive someone who thinks they've done nothing wrong?

     These are questions I have struggled to answer for myself for years. I feel I am getting much closer, but resentments and anger still resurface from time to time.

     I have dealt with some of my resentments by avoiding the entire situation. Honestly that has worked when it comes to my dad, because he doesn't care enough to even try. If you don't go to him, you don't see him. And I am really okay with that. That's probably not the best way to handle things, but some people you just have to let be. Sometimes you don't have a choice and the person you least want to have to deal with, you have to see on a regular basis.

     My kids' dad hurt me like no other. I never even knew I could hurt so bad; like my insides were being ripped out and ground into the dirt. After 9 years together, 3 children and one on the way, he could just walk out as if we meant nothing. Walk out and leave us with no money, (I was a stay at home mom, which he instisted on), no food in the house, and bills that, unbeknownst to me, were anywhere from 2 months, to a whole year past due. He refused to give me child support or any kind of help at all; my mom, step-dad and the Hope Center helped me out of that. And when he discontinued the insurance on my van, (that I drove the kids around in),without my knowing, which caused a big issue, my mom bailed me out again. His excuse for not even telling me he did that? "I didn't think about it."

      I could go on and on and on and on about crap that he pulled in our years together, the lying, the cheating, the abuse, his drinking, the secrets...but that doesn't matter anymore. I was sober for the first 7 years we were together. The last 3 is when my drinking went from occasional, to more and more, binging every couple weeks or so. And knowing how I was when I was drinking, I know I didn't help matters. I did and said things that I would not have done or said had I been sober, so I'm sure I hurt him in some ways also. But no matter if I was drunk or sober, we never would've lasted. I have forgiven him, whether he wants it or cares. I forgave him for myself, not for him. And maybe one day, he'll find it somewhere in his heart to forgive me.

     I have made some huge mistakes because I was so intoxicated I had no idea what I was even doing. Things I don't even remember because I was in a blackout drunk. While I will always regret things I did,  I shouldn't be  punished every single day, or punish myself for past mistakes when I have taken every opportunity to change and learn and grow from. I have forgiven myself, and I have changed for the better.

     Forgiveness isn't always easy. I work on it daily. Every time thoughts like the ones I have written come up, I let myself feel how I feel, then I refocus on what is positive and what I am grateful for:

                                              1. My loving, adoring husband.

                                              2. My beautiful children who love me and whom I love so much.

                                              3. My sobriety, of course.

                                              4. The love that is all around me.

     I think my feelings are pretty normal, for anyone, not just us alcoholics. As long as I am making a real, honest effort to get better each and every day, I'm good. 

     If anyone has an opinion on the subject, questions or comments, feel free.