Staying Sober During the Holiday's

The Holiday's can be a very stressful time for year for anyone. But for the newly recovering alcoholic, stressful takes on a whole new meaning. With Holiday parties around the corner, maybe some already past, odds are, alcohol will be a staple at some of them. Now is the time when you have to know your limits.

Knowing your limits isn't as simple as it sounds. I am almost 2 years sober and while I believe I am at a point in my sobriety where I can be around a couple people having a beer or two, I know I don't want to be around an open bar and a bunch of drunk people. Even after nearly two years of being happily sober, I know it is still possible to be triggered and I won't willingly put myself in that situation. I believe I know my limits. But I know that triggers and cravings can come unexpectedly.

So what do you do? You can't easily tell your mom or your grandma that you aren't going to be at the family gathering, can you? You need to know your family. Do they get plastered by the end of the night? Do they have a couple glasses of wine or champagne?

And what about the company Christmas Party? I've been to parties that start with drinks and end in drunk. What do you do?

My opinion on that is, if you are in your first year of sobriety, it's probably best to avoid going to any party where alcohol is one of the main features and people will be getting drunk. As strong as you may think you are, it is still not a good idea to be around it. Once the idea of alcohol and drinking gets in your head, it becomes an obsession and before you know it, you are planning your next drink. Don't let it get in your head.

You might feel obligated to show up, and if that is the case, you can make a brief appearance, then have some excuse to leave. It doesn't matter what the excuse is: an early morning, an appointment the next day, gotta get home to the kids... You don't owe anyone an explanation. If you feel comfortable telling people of your struggle with alcoholism/addiction, go for it. But it can take time to become comfortable with that. While you should be proud to be sober, and most people are supportive, a lot of people are still very judgmental and you don't want to be the topic of the party's gossip.

Family is harder. I hope everyone has a supportive family, who will put your sobriety over their social drinking, not everyone does. Especially if you come from a family of alcoholics, as many people do. This is a time when you have to put your sobriety first. If you can get away with making a brief appearance, do that. But consider your family dynamics. Family can be one of the most difficult parts of sobriety. Some people drink because of their family dynamics. You have to do what is best for you, no matter how hard that might be.

Do NOT let anyone pressure you to have "just one" drink. Remember that "just one" will turn into five or ten. And if you are strong enough to drink only one, you will most likely start to think you can "control it." You can't. You're an alcoholic. You can't drink like normal people, no matter how much you wish you could. If it has destroyed your life before, it will destroy your life again. I know what will happen if I pick up again. I will end up in prison or dead. Those are the only two options left for me. And being around people partying and being around an open bar or any kind of bar, is not worth it. You and I are getting our lives back in order, earning back the things and people we lost due to our addiction; don't lose it all again in one night.

While it might not be the easiest or best advise, it's all I've got. I am blessed to be part of a non-drinking, supportive family and my job does not have Christmas parties, so I'm good. But I know this is rare.

Think hard about what your limits are and be honest with yourself (and your loved ones who you trust) about what you can handle.

Christmas isn't about partying anyway. Without getting religious, it's about love and family and togetherness. I wish everyone the best! Happy Sober Holiday's!



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