He Gives Me Strength

Work is pretty scary lately. I, and a couple others, have been laid off for the next couple of weeks. We've been on lay off for like a couple months now; only working a couple days a week. It couldn't have come at a worse time. Of course, there is Christmas, then there are the bills and just getting my kids back home. 

These are scary times, for sure. So I have gone on the internet to look for jobs openings and it is pretty pathetic. I am not qualified to do much these days. Any writing jobs want a couple years of writing experience, and while I have been writing my whole life, practically, I don't have "professional" experience. I am writing for a couple different sites, but it is more for experience than money. While it is possible to make money on these sites, I imagine it is difficult and not enough to live off. My writing style much more personal and when I write for these sites, it feels almost robotic. Who wants to read the work of a robot?

I started a fiction novel a couple months ago, but put it on hold, as my creativity seems to run out on me. I believe some of what I was writing was not what God wanted me to write. So I need to do some editing. The idea is good; I just need to clean it up some. 

It is becoming more apparent to me that God has a purpose for my skill. Chris calls it a gift. God has given every person a gift, and I do feel writing is the gift He has given me. I can translate my feelings in my writing. My skills aren't perfect and there is always room to improve. I am working on that. But I have felt God working through other people to convince me to write my story. Several people have come up to me at various times and said that I should really commit to writing a book. At the time, I was having an inner conflict about it. God is telling me to do something and I am saying I will later.

I have felt God pushing me to really start writing more and to write what I love. I have prayed to Him saying that if it is His will for me to focus on writing and to start my memoir; to give me the time to devote myself to it. Maybe that is what this layoff is. I also asked for the means, the finances, to help support my family so I can stay home and write and take care of my kids. I don't know how that will come about, but I have to trust the Good Lord to provide for me and my family. 

I admit, I have been incredibly stressed out about lack of money. That is actually an understatement. I've been terrified. But I truly feel that God is calling on me to trust Him. He never gives us more than we can handle, right? If I can get through a nasty battle with alcoholism, surely I can do anything. "I can do all things with Christ who strengthens me." That has become my mantra; I say it to myself over and over.

It is strange how you can just know that God is working in your life, even when things are not going even close to the way you want them to be going. You can just feel it. "The Lord works in mysterious ways" is completely true. 2 Corinthians 12:9  says "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."  That is what comes to mind when I think of the situation. Our weakness causes us to turn to Him.

As hard as it is to understand what purpose some difficult life situations could serve, I know that there is indeed a purpose. God puts those who trust Him in the right place at the right time. I think He likes to surprise and amaze us. He is always looking for someone who trusts Him that He can help and bless. Well, my faith and my trust and my hope are in Him. Things tend to get worse before they get better, and I know His power is working in my weakness and He is strengthening me every step of the way. God is good.

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