8 Tips For Managing Stress

Everyone gets stressed out from time to time. Just a couple weeks ago, I had the most stressful week I’ve had in 18 months; and that includes my 45 days in jail. So it got me thinking of the different methods to manage stress.

We all cope with stress differently. I, like a lot of people, tend to become angry and irritable, an fly off the handle. I had actually been doing really well about not flying off the handle, thanks to Prozac. But my doc had switched me to another anti-depressant because I gained so much weight on the other. Hopefully my moods will even out more; especially now that I am losing weight.  

Some people lose their appetite; some people turn to comfort foods (me); some people turn to alcohol or drugs. There are so many things people do that don’t really work too well for the long run.

So I started digging around in my “toolbox” for some healthy alternatives for stress management. These are some things that have been working for me (aside from anti-depressants)

     

     1. Pray. When I am really stressed and overwhelmed, I turn to God for comfort. I pray a lot for strength to get through the difficult times. I meditate on God’s Promises. And most importantly, I believe that He hears an answers my prayers.   

         

            2. Meditate.  For me, prayer and meditation go hand in hand. Meditation and breathing exercises are the best for stressful situations. A couple of months ago, I had court and I as so nervous. The whole time I as waiting to be called, I focused on my breathing and nothing else. It really helped me relax. If you are unsure how to meditate, click here for some tips    

     

      3. Go for a walk. Exercise is great for stress. I enjoy walking, but not in 107 degree weather. During unpleasant weather, use a treadmill if you have one or use an exercise DVD. Anything, just exercise. Being out in nature is very always lifts my spirits. Yoga is by far the best for stress relief.     

     

      4. Get organized. I don’t know about you, but when my house is a mess, I feel like everything is in chaos. I am not a neat freak at all. I am actually a bit of a clutter bug. But when things start piling up, I get really annoyed. Big time. So just clearing the table, putting dishes away, tidying up really helps put my mind at ease

     

      5. Take a bubble bath. Set aside time just for yourself. It doesn’t have to be a bath; you could read for an hour write, paint your toenails, take a nap. Just set aside to focus on yourself and nobody else. Don’t think about anything going on in life; it’s just you.

        

            6. Play some calming music. When I’m stressed or angry, I am drawn to loud, angry music. They are preaching what I’m feeling. But all that does is get me all fired up all over again. Instead, try something uplifting and you’ll notice a difference. I know I do. And if you are sad or depressed, don’t listen to Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On”, or Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You.” I don’t even have to be depressed to start balling when I hear those songs.  

   

     7. Ask for help. If you’re overwhelmed about housework and you have kids running around, ask someone to help you. Or if you are overloaded at work, just admit you could use a hand. I know it’s hard to admit and you don’t want to look bad. But you can’t do everything on your own. Everyone needs help sometimes.  

    

      8. Talk to someone you trust. It could be your spouse if they are the type of person who will just listen and not try to “fix” you; most men want to fix whatever the problem is. Or if they’re someone who is easily offended or will become stressed themselves, they probably aren’t the right person to confide in. A pastor or minister you know and trust would be a good person to talk to. They can offer you spiritual guidance.  If you are chronically stressed, I would suggest finding a therapist. They can offer un-biased opinions and help you work through your stress and problems. Seeing a therapist/counselor doesn’t mean there is something “wrong” with you. You will be amazed at the progress you will make in your life with someone who will offer honest, un-biased feedback.

I hope these ideas are useful. When you don’t deal with your stress issues, it is just going to build up and it will come out in an explosive way. You have to take care of yourself before you can be any good to your family or job or whatever. Best wishes!


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One Step At A Time, One Day At A Time

It's been several days since I've written. I have been so busy. I must be a bit crazy because I started a new blog. I haven't published anything yet; I want to wait until I have several posts written. It is a Christian blog, which is much harder than I thought it would be. Maybe because I want it to be perfect.

I have also started a Christian Apologetics course and a Bible study course. I have a lot going on. But My Life Sober is a priority. I want to write at least 3 posts a week still. I may have stretched myself a little thin but I am so excited about everything. I love the Bible study and aplogetics course. I am enrolling in a theology course. That is what I want to major in. But I know it will take time, as I work full time, have 4 kids, and I have some other stuff to complete. But I am really happy. God has called me and I can't put it off any longer. He won't let me.

I am feeling great. I have so much hope for the future. Things might be tough at times, but I'll survive.

I am 18 months sober! Yae, me! I had the most stressful week I've had in a long, long time and I am still sober and never even thought about drinking. Thank you, God. I am doing great. You know, it's amazing what a person can do when they set their mind to something and have faith in God to help them. Yesterday, I was looking through my Bible and came to Psalm 119:65-72:

                                                 Do good to your servant
                                                          according to your word, O Lord.
                                                 Teach me knowledge and good judgement,
                                                          for I believe in your commands.
                                                 Before I was afflicted I went astray,
                                                          but now I obey Your word.
                                                 You are good, and what You do is good;
                                                          teach me Your decrees.
                                                  Though the arrogant have smeared me with lies,
                                                          I keep Your precepts with all my heart.
                                                  Their hearts are callous and unfeeling,
                                                          but I delight in Your law.
                                                  It was good for me to be afflicted
                                                          so that I might learn Your decrees.
                                                  The law from Your mouth is more precious to me
                                                          than thousands of pieces of silver and gold.

When I read this, it was perfect. It was exactly what I needed to read and it says exactly how I feel. Some of the things I did in my past are horrible, but had it not happened I would not have learned God's way. Now, I already knew God's commandments and I knew what I should be doing, but I didn't have it in my heart. I say I have always been a Christian, but I wasn't living a Christians life. I know I'm not alone on that. I now strive to be a "true" committed Christian and do what is right. I make mistakes and I know I have work to do, but at least I really am trying. And believe me, when I get a nasty attitude with people, like I do when I am stressed, God deals with me.

 Some people still "smear me with lies," and spread rumors and gossip about me, and it does hurt to some degree, because I am not my past and they don't see, or want to see that. But I don't have to worry about them. I just have to delight in God's law and He will take care of the rest. Rumors and gossip can really hurt a person and make an already bad or difficult situation worse, but what can I do? Nothing. I can't change them, I can only change me, with the Lord's help and guidance.

These kinds of changes aren't just for alcoholics and addicts; everyone has made mistakes. Maybe not to the extent of my mistakes, but everyone has changes they need to make, whether they want to admit it or not. Making significant changes in one's life is not easy. Sometimes it's easier to just stay the same. It's easier to just have an attitude with people than it is to hold your tongue. Sometimes I get so angry or frustrated that my blood is just boiling and to not say something or go off is the hardest thing ever. I'm like a volcano ready to erupt. But the more I manage to hold my tongue the prouder I can be of myself and the progress I am making. It isn't progress that another person can see or measure, but only God and myself are aware. One step at a time, one day at a time. That's how we all must live.

Please feel welcome to leave comments!!

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How To Build Your Self-Esteem In 6 Simple Steps

Most people have had self-esteem issues at some point, in some form, whether they portray it or not. I have battled my own self-esteem issues and I thought I would write what has worked for me and what has worked for others. I hope this is helpful...

1. Stop criticizing yourself!  That sounds easy enough right? Stop being your worst critic and start believing in yourself. Forgive yourself for past mistakes; we all make them! When you catch yourself thinking or saying something negative, stop and give yourself at least 2 compliments. Say it enough until you start believing it.

2. Make a self-affirmation list.  Write at least 20 positive qualities you have. Yes, you do have 20 positive qualities and many more! So dig deep. It can be anything; pretty eyes, thick flowing hair, great sense of humor, etc.. If you are having a hard time, think about compliments you have received. No matter what you think, you have many great characteristics.

3. Hang that affirmation list where you will see it every day. Read it aloud first thing in the morning. Who cares if someone hears you?..Well, okay, read it to yourself if you must. But read it and FEEL it. Read it over and over and over.

4. Take pride in your appearance. It doesn't matter what you look like or what you think you look like; as long as you look like you care. Fix yourself up. It will instantly make you feel more confident.

5. Find something you are good at. A hobby, a job; it doesn't matter how big or small you think it is. Just become the very best at it that you can be. Study and learn everything you can about whatever it is. It always feels good when you know you are good at something and other people admire that. Are you a singer? Let your voice be heard. Couponer? Become the best darn couponer you can be. And be proud of yourself, because you earned it.

6. Help someone. Help them with chores, homework, put your knowledge to use. Volunteer somewhere, help a neighbor with yard work. Helping others is the ultimate self-esteem booster. It feels good to be selfless and help another person who needs it. It is good to get away from yourself and your own issues and think about someone else's needs. You will feel amazing!

Well, that is pretty easy, right? It takes doing over and over and before you know it, you start to believe everything you say to yourself. So why not say something positive?.. And learn to take a compliment! You're on your way!

A Test of My Faith

This post is somewhat related to "Can't Keep Me Down," because the situation I am in right now inspired it. The situation truly has been a test of my faith.

Just a brief update on that: I spoke to one for my attorneys and she said this woman was way off base and should know better. I shouldn't have been blamed for something that's out of my control and legally, there was nothing I could do at the time. And she shouldn't have spoken me that way. Bottom line, I was in the right. Of course that doesn't change anything if she still thinks she right and like I said in my last post, she is in a position of power, and I will suffer the repercussions because she won't admit to being wrong. But knowing I wasn't wrong and could appeal it, makes me feel better. (I wish I could go into detail, but I can't. Sorry.)

Sometimes just knowing the truth within yourself isn't enough, especially when it affects your future with your children. But hearing it from a good attorney who knows the law helps. It is hard to not dwell on things people say that hurt you. It is pretty normal to have an inner dialogue, things you wish you'd thought of at the time; things you wish you'd said. But seriously, where does that get you? Worked up, pissed off, irate, depressed, stressed, etc.. Losing sleep over it won't help; it'll only add fuel to your already blazing fire. It sucks, especially when it could really hurt your life situation and there's nothing you can do about it. Believe me I know!

No matter what anyone says about me or to me, or how I am attacked; mentally, emotionally, physically or spiritually, it is not enough to lead me back down the road of self-destruction. I have complete and utter faith in the Lord. I know with certainty that He is working for me. He gives me strength. He knows me and He believes in me.

The truth will be known eventually.

My faith will be tested just as all believers are tested at some point. I am happy, healthy, and sober. And I am a fantastic and loving mother. But most of all, I am a child of the Supreme Ruler; the Final Judge. My Heavenly Father.

Can't Keep Me Down

I had the worst phone call yesterday. I can't get in to any details at the moment, but this woman I spoke to was so rude to me for the first part of the conversation; completely unprofessional and just plain mean to me. She brought up stuff that happened a year and a half ago, like I am less than human and deserved to be treated that way. I was in complete and utter shock. I didn't know what to do or say. This person is in a power position. She completely undermined everything I have done this whole time to get better and recover from the disease of alcoholism. No one has treated me like that in a long time and I absolutely know I didn't deserve it. I don't know, maybe she had a bad day and took it out on me.

I felt horrible all day. I was sick to my stomach all night and all today.

I have made huge efforts to be healthy mentally, emotionally and I am working on the physical. I have been doing fabulous and I am a wonderful, loving mother who genuinely wants the best for my children.

So why would I let someone who doesn't know me get me down, after all I have worked for? Maybe because she kind of holds my future in her hands right now. But, knowing that I was NOT wrong, why would I dwell on it so long? I know who I am and I know I am a good person. Even the judge said that I can't be punished forever for my mistakes forever; I have my dues, and this woman basically treated me like I was the scum of the earth. Why do I care?

I know that everything will work out and that God is for me; so who can be against me? I know this with complete certainty, but still, her words hurt. This woman whom I don't know and who doesn't know me, really hurt me. How does that happen?

I don't know what her motivation was; it really doesn't matter. The fact is, things may bother me at first, I may dwell on it for a while, but I a stronger now than I have ever been and nothing is going to keep me down. I know that the devil uses people, unbeknownst to them, to try to hurt me and doubt God. Well, it won't work. I have seen His goodness and I am a believer. I truly mean "His will be done." Whatever He has planned for me is a good plan and I trust Him fully to take care of me and my children.

There are always going to be hard times that arise. But I will handle it as gracefully as I can. I am sober, faithful, and I won't give my happiness over to someone else to stomp on. I don't deserve that. Nobody does.



Please feel free to leave questions or comments and I will return the favor!




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