My 5 (Seemingly) Simple Tips For Avoiding Relapse:

Relapse, unfortunately, is part of alcoholism. It happens to most of us or has happened at some point. When I was in treatment, we heard over and over that 1 in 8 will make it. I'm not sure exactly how accurate that is, but the point is, this is a serious disease. Just as in cancer remission, all signs and symptoms seem to disappear, it can come back. Now, I'm not saying that we're doomed to relapse, I don't believe that is the case; I just think it's important to be aware of it.

This is a list of what has been working for me:

1. Don't be overconfident: Confidence is great; it is important and a good thing to believe in yourself.
Overconfidence, thinking, "I got this," can backfire. When you think you've got alcoholism beat, you can
easily forget what caused you to want to get sober in the first place. Soon, you stop focusing on personal
growth and those old thoughts and patterns can creep back. That was my experience during the year
before my last relapse. I am now confident in my sobriety. I remember the past, but I don't dwell on it.

2. Don't dwell on your past: Everybody makes mistakes. Some are bigger than others. But if you dwell
on your mistakes and all the embarrassing things you did and the people you hurt, you will find it
extremely difficult to move on to a place of peace. Forgiving yourself is an important part of sobriety,
even if others refuse to forgive you. Forgiving doesn't have to mean forgetting. You forgive so that you
can move on with your life.



3. Don't let other people beat you down (mentally): People that you hurt during your addiction may
have a harder time letting go of the past, even if they say they forgive you.Things may seem to be going
well in the relationship and then you have a disagreement on something (it could be anything not related to
the past), then suddenly something you did 3 years ago is back on the table. This is a tough situation to
work through, when you have moved on (or attempting to) from it and made amends, but the other
person brings stuff up to gain the upper hand or make you feel bad. You want to be sensitive to their
feelings, but you can't allow yourself to be punished forever. You have to do what is best for you and
your sobriety. Stand up for yourself, but in a respectful manor.
Sometimes I get the feeling there are people who think that because I'm a recovering alcoholic, I am not
an intelligent person. Yes, I think my binge drinking had a negative affect on my memory, but hey, I'm
not 20 anymore. I had someone use that against me during a disagreement. "Well, you just don't remember; you were drunk." I've heard that a lot and it's not always the truth or fair. But
what do you say to that? It's hard not to get angry or frustrated, because you know what you know,
and you're feelings and opinions are being brushed off. You want to be respectful and remember that
the y may have some anger and resentment that they haven't worked through yet. You have to work to
repair relationships that you value and it takes time. But if they value your relationship, they will keep in
mind that you are an alcoholic, not an idiot. (For more on repairing relationships, click the link above.)

4. Ask For Help: It's easier said than done, I know.But when you're feeling overwhelmed stressed out
depressed, don't be afraid to admit it to yourself. Find someone you can trust and get whatever help you
need, whether it be watching your children so you can take a breather, ask your partner to help you with
with housework, (and if they care about you, they will). Or find someone just to talk to about your
feelings. I think, for the most part, people want to help.And most won't hold it against you later. Each
family has their own dynamics, so that has to be considered. If you have a nice neighbor, reach out.
Just don't overstay your welcome by calling on them every day, and doing nothing in return.

5. Don't ignore cravings and triggers: We're not immune to them, no matter how long we've been
sober; however, it gets easier and easier. Talk to someone right away. A lot of times, just talking about it
takes the weight off. Go to an AA meeting or NA or whichever. These feelings should never be ignored.
They will just keep coming back if you don't deal with them.

All of these tips I ignored before my last relapsed. I usually know what to do, but actually doing it is not the easiest thing. I am grateful that I am healthy and happy and sober now, and it gets a little easier every day.


Claiming Your Self Esteem By Ball, Carolyn M.
Where to Draw the Line By Katherine, Anne


Please feel welcome to leave questions, comments or tips that work for you.

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